GENEVA: Ugh this book is awful! It says it talks about the technology of your ships, but it doesn’t go into any details! Look at this picture! It only tells you what two of these cannon tools do, and It’s not going to tell me anywhere else.
I didn’t even *get* this much information about the sails.
JACQ: (amused) If it sucks, stop reading it?
GENEVA: No! I mean, it doesn’t “suck” (say it like you’re trying to acclimate to Jacq’s terminology). It has some interesting stuff in it. It’s just also frustrating you know? (sighs) I should have known that a book with this broad of a scope would have its share of frustrations.
JACQ: Yeah! That’s what I’m saying! You can get a better book. If you aren’t enjoying it, why keep reading it? Just move on, there is a whole world of information out there.
GENEVA: But I am enjoying it. It’s just also frustrating you know?
JACQ: Ugh! Not really! My last partner was the same way. They spent so much time trying to finish every little thing in a video game even when they were bored outta their minds. I don’t really understand the urge to be a completionist, there is always more and better stuff to do with your time.
GENEVA: I-I’m sorry?
JACQ: No, no no. Babe. I didn’t mean to… Look, I’m sorry too, I wasn’t trying to compare you to them. It’s just a longstanding frustration. It’s not how I work, it’s not a thing I understand, but it’s still, like, valid.
There’s a lot of stuff that I don’t understand, and sometimes it frustrates me. Like, I have a friend who really loves this twitter that just posts color blocks? And they retweet them, and it’s just like “ok, so, a color.” But it doesn’t mean that it isn’t a valid way to spend their time.
JACQ: And when someone wholeheartedly enjoys the thing they’re doing, I’m like, “woo! You do you friendo!” But when they get all frustrated, it like, it gets my hackles up. I don’t know why they’d want to be unhappy doing like, a fun hobby. But I just have to realize that it is okay.
JACQ: So what I’m trying to say is it’s not your fault. It’s just something I have to work on, and I’m sorry for making you feel bad.
GENEVA: Okay. Thank you. Is-Is there something else bothering you? That was a lot more rambly than you usually are.
JACQ: I just don’t want to screw this up. I like you a lot and I don’t want you to hate me.
GENEVA: Jacq, we’re probably going to have disagreements. You can’t shoulder the blame for all of them just to try to keep me happy.
JACQ: Yeah, I know you’re right. I just like you a lot.
GENEVA: I know, I like you too.
JACQ: Thanks (geneva interrupts this line)
GENEVA: (jokingly) You were definitely in the wrong about this one though. So I’ll just have to forgive you.
JACQ: (giggles) You’re very cute.
GENEVA: Thank you. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?
JACQ: Tell me a story?
GENEVA: Ugh! Again? Just because I told you one story…
JACQ: But I really liked the Radio story. Pleeeease
JACQ: Okay, okay so you don’t have to make up a story. You can just tell me...oh! You can tell me more about your team. You haven’t told me much about Elise. Or Damien.
GENEVA: Okay, sure. I mean, it’s kind of the same as with Julian and Leopold, but I can tell you about their interviews.
JACQ: Yeah, that sounds good. Did you know either of them before doing the interview though?
GENEVA: Yeah, so Damien’s been with us since the beginning. He’s always been kind of quiet, so I don’t know too much about him, but he seems nice. Like he doesn’t stick out much, but I remember this one time we were walking through a town on our way to the dig site.
There were a group of kids, kicking around a ball. Damien just walked over calmly. They all stopped when they saw him coming, and then I guess he must have asked them if he could join in, because they all started playing again. It looked like he was taking it easy on them. He fell once while we were there, It looked like it was probably on purpose. He seemed to be having fun, the kids definitely were.
JACQ: Aw, what a big softie.
GENEVA: Yeah! He had to catch up to us later, because we kept going. He was just his regular quiet self when he got back.
JACQ: That’s nice! What about Elise, is she new?
GENEVA: She’s newer? She’s been around a while, but not from the beginning. I think she’s from N-CAPS. She-
JACQ: Ooh hold on!! Is there, like, rivalry between y’all and N-CAPS or is it a big happy family?
GENEVA: I want to say one big happy family, but you saw how things went down with High Wizard Ezcobar. I’m pretty sure she actually came in the same group as him, but she didn’t follow him around like all the other ones did.
You know for someone as jovial as she is, she’s pretty mysterious.
JACQ: Mysterious?? What does that even mean, babe?
GENEVA: Uh... what does mysterious mean?? Hmm… Like... she's charismatic, knits, used to be an adventurer...
JACQ: (excited) she used to be an ADVENTURER?
GENEVA: Yeah, she didn’t talk a lot about it, but it came up in her interview. I think they called themselves… uh hold on, it was really long... the royal knitters society, tough luv, quill belly, pink soap, the only adventurers you need, 26/7 girl squad and you’d best pay up.
JACQ: Oh my god I’m in love with her.
GENEVA: You don’t think that the name is a little ridiculous?
JACQ: It’s JUST THE RIGHT AMOUNT of ridiculous.
GENEVA: I guess it would be pretty hard to put on a wanted poster. You could probably just shorten it to The Knitting Society, though.
JACQ: Unless there was a real Knitting Society, then there’d be mass confusion. Did she tell you about any of their adventures?
GENEVA: Um, kind of? She started giving me play by plays of monsters she had killed, in like gory detail. Not sure why she was killing the monsters or where the rest of her party was, but uh. She can kill I guess. I had to stop her after a couple, because, they were getting a little too gross for me.
JACQ: Aw, what a big softie. (giggling)
GENEVA: What? How is killing things being a softie? I understood when you said Damien was but-
JACQ: Youuuuuu are the softie.
GENEVA: Oh, yeah. I’m pretty soft.
JACQ: Hehe! Uh, so, she’s a cold-blooded killer. That’s good, with the whole Carithell business going down, but why did you hire her if she grossed you out?
GENEVA: I mean it was impressive. And yeah, I thought it would be useful to have someone like her helping with the whole Carithell thing. Also she seems nice, despite the killing. I have no idea what she was knitting though.
JACQ: A garrotte!
GENEVA: If it was a garotte it was one big enough to kill a dragon. It was just this big long tube.
JACQ: How big? A tube? Does she have a pet snake?
GENEVA: Not that I know of? The hole in the tube was about. Mmm six inches across? I know it was at least 3 feet long, but like she had a bag that she was stuffing it into as she went, and it looked almost full, so I’d guess it was a lot longer than that.
JACQ: Wow she *is* mysterious.
GENEVA: Yeah. She seems cool though. A cool Mysterious.
JACQ: See, I thought the word “mysterious” implied that she was cool. Must be a cultural difference.
GENEVA: I mean sometimes it can be cool, like I’m an archaeologist. I like solving mysteries, but sometimes it's just.. I dunno weird. An undesirable weird?
JACQ: No I mean like - a cool and sexy lady detective, solving mysteries, usin her smarts, flirting with the oh so handsome inspector - ok actually, we are just gonna watch Miss Fisher’s mysteries tonight.
GENEVA: Ooh a handsome Inspector? I’m game. So It’s like a Sherlock Holmes kind of thing? Is Miss FIsher strong like Sherlock Holmes? Does she bend fire pokers with her bare hands?
JACQ: HAHhah dirty.
GENEVA: (laughs) Okay, what? How is that dirty?
JACQ: Mmmm! Never mind. You will see, tonight. She is the coolest though, it’s set in the 1920s, like, after world war i? Are you there yet?
GENEVA: I mean, not in this book. But I know a little bit. The roaring 20’s! Prohibition! Sufferage! Which doesn’t sound like a good thing but is.
JACQ: Yeah - after all that big war trauma, a lot of like, social roles got flipped around for a while, and Miss Fisher is out there using her like… optimistic nihilism and a big pile of money to go on good adventures and destroy bad guys. She is the ultimate chaotic good hero. And she falls in love with this policeman - the only EVER police character I will ever like--
GENEVA: So Like Batman if he fell for Commissioner Gordon.
JACQ: Oh my god babe… I mean. Sure, like that but sexier. Except, no, not at all because Batman is not chaotic.
GENEVA: Sorry, yeah that’s true. It just reminded me a bit of him. Probably just the money thing I guess.
JACQ: Wait wait wait do you ship Batman and Commissioner Gordon?
SFX: TELEPORTATION SOUND
GENEVA: I don’t know if I’d say- (screams)
JACQ: Whoa! What the fuck!?
GENEVA: Elise? Damien? What are you doing here?
SFX: Geneva rushing over to them
JACQ: Are you two ok? What - how?
GENEVA: How did you get here?
ELISE: (exhausted) Hey boss. We’re home.