Transcript: Interference Episode 15

Currently this text is a copy of our working script, not the exact text of the episode. It will be updated once we have transcripts prepared for every episode.

GENEVA

Hi Jacq

JACQ

Hey Geneva! What’s up?

GENEVA

Oh You know. Just trying to start a rebellion and overtake our evil… negligent? Overlord. No big deal.

JACQ

Did you talk to Jen?

GENEVA

Yeah, I reached out to her first. They haven’t been letting her in either. Mostly she’s been helping out with some of the digs in the area.

JACQ

What did she think?

GENEVA

She’s not really been happy with how things have been going since Ramone took over either. She thinks that maybe I’m going a little overboard but is willing to help. She happens to be quite good at divination magic, and now that she has a reason to spy beyond simple curiosity she’s willing to do it. Quite eager really. It seems she had quite a bit of trouble resisting the temptation before.

JACQ

Oooh! Magical espionage.

GENEVA

Heh, yeah. I’m actually going to have to help her try to get in there tonight, while hopefully everyone’s gone off to bed. She needs to be in there to set up her scrying stuff.

JACQ

How does scrying stuff work?

GENEVA

So, scrying’s not really my thing. I do have a basic knowledge though...

JACQ

Sure - and I don’t. So, explain it basically. Do you have to use mirrors? Or a crystal ball??

GENEVA

So you need to set up these magical sensors. They’re mostly invisible. We might have to do some work to hide them.

JACQ

Are they, like - actual physical things? Or are they like…  spells?

GENEVA

So they’re um, well you cast the spell and then they’re...summoned? From another plane or not quite like that. They weaken the planes? No that sounds bad. Anyway. They’re technically in another plane and watching this one.

JACQ

So sort of like… they really exist, but you can’t see them because they’re behind a two-way mirror?

GENEVA

Uh, yeah that sounds right. Yeah I can see that. That’s pretty good. So then I think that the wizard usually has an object that they focus on that the sensors are connected to via their magic. It could be a mirror or crystal ball. It might be a gem or a boot, anything really. Well maybe not a boot. That would be weird.

JACQ

But theoretically possible? (laughs) Okay. That’s actually… pretty different from what I expected. Like a lot of the principles for magic that are used in D&D are there, but it’s... different. But it sounds cool! Good luck.

GENEVA

Yeah Thanks!

I’m uh pretty nervous about it. I really hope that they haven’t set up some kind of guard, because that would suck.

JACQ

Have you done any, like… reconnaissance? Figured out when people are in there, and stuff?

GENEVA

Uh, no. I thought it would be too suspicious if I like hung around there, and I can’t get in to see what’s going on there. I think some of them sleep in there now.

JACQ

I guess that makes sense. If there is a guard, what are you going to do? Wait? Knock him out? Tell me all your plans and secrets!!

GENEVA

Ugh! I don’t know! I-

JACQ

Wait, did you say that some of them are sleeping in there? Is that… normal?

GENEVA

I mean, in a study like this? It’s not unusual. The building is pretty solid, and the area they’re in isn’t exposed to the elements.

JACQ

That reminds me! I sent agent Sopando an email and he said he’d be willing to figure out a way for ambassadors from Chel to happen, but he wants to talk to you and your team.

GENEVA

I don’t even have a team yet! But yeah, When and if I do, I’d be willing to talk to him. I have to not die or be expelled tonight first though.

JACQ

Is death a… likely result?? Are you putting yourself in more danger than I’m understanding?

GENEVA

No it’s not really likely. It’s just worry and anxiety. You know. Sneaking into a place at night. You worry about stuff like that. Especially if you’ve heard any thief stories.

JACQ

Hmm. Most of the thief stories I know are about, like, noble thieves stealing from The Man, like, capitalized The Man, insitutional powers The Man? And then like giving back to the community. Or about master thieves who never get caught.

GENEVA

What?! They like get away? They aren’t captured and punished? Or fall doomed to  their own greed and are destroyed?

JACQ

Maybe it’s just the kind of stories I read? But like, if you look at video games… it’s practically a genre, stealth games about thieves. And there are stories like Robin Hood that go back centuries.

GENEVA

So you like thieves? Thieves are the good guys fighting your society which is evil?

JACQ

EHHH I mean. Sometimes. Not really. For one, the stories don’t really reflect… reality. The vast majority of criminals are caught and imprisoned. A lot of people are actually imprisoned for very small crimes, it’s like a whole big thing. I’m not exactly an expert on it.

But stories are different. I think maybe… there are so many things you can be punished for, and so many of them aren’t actually BAD, they’re just… illegal for various reasons. That we like to write about people who are fighting that.

GENEVA

I guess that makes sense. But Thieves are so detrimental to society it just seems so weird that you have stories where they get away and survive and that people like them and stuff. The stories I mean.

JACQ

So I could talk about something modern, like… drug laws? But I think that it’s a much deeper thing here than a modern issue could cover, let me tell you a little bit about Robin Hood - I’m actually surprised that the humans on Chel don’t talk about him--then again you may not know that.

GENEVA

Mmm. I mean they might…

JACQ

Yeah. Uh so, in Robin Hood there was this lord who went to fight in a war? And when he got back, the government had taken all his land for whatever reason. The concept of government in this story is actually really weird because it’s like “The Sherriff.” It’s very much a “common folk” story to simplify a power structure like that but… uh, never mind, I am getting away from the story.

GENEVA

So the government took his land. So the government is the thief?

JACQ

No - I mean - it’s complicated. So Robin Hood comes back from the war and all of his land has been taken by the government, and he is homeless, and without his title, and all this stuff. So he goes off to live in the woods? I guess?

GENEVA

Alright. That seems a little unsafe, but being homeless is awful.

JACQ

Yeah. And I’m not completely sure these woods were “unsafe,” like, all the land is pretty well controlled. This is happening in what you’d call Jolly Old England, by the way.

So he’s living in the woods, and he collects this group of friends who, for some reason, are called Merry Men. I’ve never quite gotten what they had to be merry about.

GENEVA

Maybe they were happy to have found each other? Since they were homeless and all.

JACQ

Maybe? ANYWAY he and his band of merry men are basically highway robbers. They steal from wealthy people, and they use that money to live their lives and to help out poor people. In the version I’m thinking of, they like, dump a whole haul into the church’s collection for a sick family. Or something. Did I mention that mostly I know this from a cartoon that I haven’t seen in a decade?

GENEVA

*laughs* You didn’t. So they take money from people in order to give it to people who need it.

JACQ

Redistribution of wealth, babe! Yeah.

GENEVA

*laughs* oh stop it!

It is an interesting story. It’s not at all like our stories of thieves. The thieves in your story are doing something good. They’ve been driven to it by their own government, and they’re stealing but they’re not trying to hoard the wealth or anything. They’re helping people.

It’s very strange, but a nice story.

JACQ

I mean, when you visit? We will watch Leverage together. Thief stories are… complex.

GENEVA

(pleased sounding hum noise) I’d be up for that. I’m interested in seeing these cartoon and movie things you talk about. They seem like very complex illusions.

Ugh I wish I didn’t have to feel like I was in one. What will I do if there is a guard? It was a very good question and I’m just not sure.

JACQ

So… if I was playing D&D… is this weird? Is this an okay way to think about it?

GENEVA

No! Go ahead. Maybe it will help.

JACQ

Okay, so, if I was playing D&D and there was a guard, there are a lot of ways I could deal with them. A lot of them are off the table because D&D is bloody as fuck, but...

GENEVA

I don’t want to hurt anyone!

JACQ

Yeah, of course. But I mean, there is the pure stealth method. Go invisible, if that’s an option?

GENEVA

To be invisible? I mean I’ve heard of that but I don’t know anyone who does. Uh. I mean I think Jen is mostly bringing me along as muscle really, and because I know the temple.

JACQ

Do you know a spell or a potion to make them fall asleep?

GENEVA

Oh sleep, maybe. There’s a spell I use on myself sometimes. It might work on other people. You know I think it would! I think my mom may have used it on me when I was a kid once or twice.

JACQ

HAH!! That’s adorable.

GENEVA

Not sure it’s entirely ethical, but eh. Children have too much energy.

JACQ

Yeah, I get it. Uhh - if the sleep thing doesn’t work, my only other idea is to use a distraction.

GENEVA

Alright, that seems risky though. Like it could draw a lot of attention instead of drawing it away.

JACQ

Well, there are lots of kinds of distractions… anything you do is going to be risky, though.

GENEVA

Yeah, I really hope just no one is up. The sleep spell seems like the best bet. Thanks.

JACQ

You’re welcome! I’m glad it actually helped.

GENEVA

Yeah! I really hope I don’t get caught and tossed out of the society, especially if I’m dragging Jen into it as well.

JACQ

Well, good luck. I think you’ll do really well, just… don’t panic. How long do you have to wait before this Big Heist?

GENEVA

Oh, it’s a number of hours yet. I’ll be worrying about it all day.

(quietly) Maybe I should cast sleep on myself first.

JACQ

(laughs) Well, if you do, don’t oversleep. Big important business.

GENEVA

Yeah, I know.

JACQ

Okay. I’m sorry to leave you all nervous, but I have to go to work.

GENEVA

Oh that’s fine I should probably make a few more preparations myself.

JACQ

Okay. Good luck tonight. Call me when you get done, I don’t need the sleep. Love you bye!

GENEVA

Uh yes that! I’ll do that. I L-uh-Later!

__

Thank you for listening. Interference is an Orc Zone production. For more information, or to get in touch, head to orczone.com, or hit us up on Twitter @theorczone. This month we are participating, a lot, in International Podcast Month, run by the amazing Tess from RPGcasts.com. To hear a special bonus episode of Interference, and to hear us be in a lot of actual play games with other awesome podcasters, head to http://internationalpodcastmonth.com for info, or just straight-up subscribe to I Am Hear, link in the show notes. I Am Hear is one of my favorite shows! If you’re into actual play shows, you’ll love it too. Moving on, if you would like to support Interference, you should check out our patreon or our new teepublic store. Links are in the show notes.Finally, as always, we thank Jahzzar for the use of their song “Please Listen Carefully,” available at betterwithmusic.com.