Transcript: Interference Episode 7

Currently this text is a copy of our working script, not the exact text of the episode. It will be updated once we have transcripts prepared for every episode.

JACQ

…Okay, so to start I’m going to be asking everyone to give a little introduction to their character and themselves. Then I’m going to go into a little spiel I have about the setting, and then we’ll play. From that point, all I want from you is to have fun and, uh, talk into your damn mics.

ASH

(audibly adjusts mic) Got it.

JACQ

Cool. Anyone have questions before we start recording?

NICOLE

Do you want us to read our backstories? Or just do something off the cuff. And do you want them in or out of character.

JACQ

Up to you - uh - except for (LARISSA). Your backstory is too long, just sum that shit up. Everyone else wrote less than a page.

DANA

(amused) You wrote more than a page?

LARISSA

(defensive) Listen, Elba is a complicated lady. She’s been through a lot!

JACQ

Yeah yeah! Everything you wrote is great, it gave me plenty to work with, I just… please don’t talk for more than a couple minutes?

LARISSA

(give a sarcastic yes, like “yes, mom” or “affirmative”)

JACQ

Okay, I’m gonna get Craig in here. (typing noises - as recording begins, there is very faint white noise)

Hello everyone - thank you for joining us for our first episode of Wandercast, where we’re going to be playing 5th edition D&D. I’m Jacq, your faithful dungeon master, and joining me today are Ash, Nicole, Larissa, and Dana.

EVERYONE

Hello! (or another greeting of your choice)

JACQ

Go ahead and introduce yourselves and your characters, everyone. You first, Ash.

ASH

Um… okay. My name is Ash, and I’m playing Scarlett, a Tiefling paladin looking for redemption.

JACQ

Sure, sure. Redemption from what?

ASH

That will be revealed as the campaign continues!

JACQ

… Okay. We’ll talk about it after the recording if you want it to be a secret. Who’s next?

LARISSA

(speak quickly, with a mix of nervousness and trying to fully explain your complicated-ass character)

Me!! I’m Larissa, and I’m playing a goliath called Elba. She was born to a tribe in the mountains. Her family was full of warriors, but she wasn’t any good at fighting? The tribal elders and her family tried really hard to get her to choose another profession, but she refused, so she failed her coming-of-age trials and took to thievery… and...

... what the hell is that noise?

DANA

Yeah, I thought you’d remembered to download PodCleaner, to filter out all the random interference.

JACQ

I… did. I’m not sure why it’s not working. Give me a second.

GENEVA

(inaudible)

NICOLE

(quietly) ...is that Geneva?

JACQ

I… I think it is! Hello? Geneva? Is that you? It’s been… it’s been over two months! Hello?

GENEVA

Jacq if you can hear me please respond (super staticky)

JACQ

Guys - can we pick this up another time?

NICOLE

Hell no! I want to listen.

JACQ

I’m recording it, you can listen after. Too many voices isn’t helping matters, right now... Please?

NICOLE

...Fine.

 JACQ

Geneva? Is that you?

GENEVA

I repeat, Jacq if you can hear me, please respond to this message. (Aside I thought you said that you’d fixed this..)

 JACQ

HELLO? CAN YOU HEAR ME??

 GENEVA

Was that something? Maybe it’s just really quiet. I s there a way to make it louder?

 JACQ

(overtalk) GENEVA! WE HAVEN’T HEARD FROM YOU IN MONTHS. HELLO?? CAN YOU HEAR ME? Shit, I’m sorry that I’m clipping everyone, this is terrible.

 GENEVA

(overtalk) Oh there we ahh, ahh yes, that’s very loud. Jacq is that you?

 JACQ

Yes! Can you hear me?

 GENEVA

Yes, I can hear you now. Thank goodness, it’s you. This machine actually works! Things have been so horrible here! It’s good to talk to you again. So tell me everything! What’s been going on over there?

 JACQ

It’s good to hear from you, too! It’s been crazy here.

 GENEVA

The interference over here has been awful.

 JACQ

SAME. Pretty much all radio communications are useless right now--it’s a state of emergency. The digital world is doing a little better, but--

 GENEVA

Is a radio something to do with compasses? Jen says that the signals we’re getting kind of work like compasses. I don’t really get it. She did get this device working, though.

 JACQ

I don’t think so, but I… don’t know? That’s not really my specialty. Radio is, uh (typing, googling) the way that we transmit audio signals. (typing, googling) Apparently a radio compass is a thing, but I don’t...

 GENEVA

...It didn’t make any sense to me either.

 JACQ

(laughs) Okay.

 GENEVA

Compasses don’t make any noise. So what’s the interference like over there? Do you just have random voices floating in the air?

 JACQ

...no. It only affects electronics, pretty much just those that transmit sound. Radios, televisions, computers… shit, none of that means anything to you.

 GENEVA

Well, you did tell me about your computers. Not that I understand them. I still think they’re probably magic.

 JACQ

Yeah, that was pretty clear when I went over our conversation… but, are there voices just floating through the air in Chell?

 GENEVA

It’s so horrible! Just suddenly a garbled voice starts yelling behind your back and disappears. We’re all so jumpy.

 JACQ

That does sound horrible.

 GENEVA

It is! It’s still just localized to the area around the temple. I don’t suppose you could get them to stop doing it?

 JACQ

I don’t… think it’s intentional. The voices we’re getting here certainly don’t seem to be trying to... communicate. Not with us, anyway.

 GENEVA

Okay, well, it was worth a try, I didn’t think you’d really be able to stop it.

 JACQ

Then… why did you want to contact me?

 GENEVA

We need to know what’s going on, so we need both sides of the story. I need to know what’s going on over there, if we’re going to figure this out. Is there anything else strange going on?

 JACQ

It’s hard to say. Communications are pretty fucked.

 GENEVA

How isolated are these issues? Is it just in your city? Or is it larger? Is it Earth wide?

 JACQ

No. Not isolated. As far as I know it’s worldwide.

 GENEVA

That’s...incredible? Worrisome? Incredibly worrisome?

 JACQ

Both. All of them. Yeah. It’s… I’m sure there are places it hasn’t affected, but anywhere that… uses the internet. Or really any sort of audio communication. Phones.

 GENEVA

I don’t understand! That sounds like a major issue. Why doesn’t the portal show any signs of being active?

 JACQ

I don’t think that all the voices and sounds are from your planet, actually. I don’t know enough, but there have been things that are not like Earth, but don’t seem… Chellish? Either. Languages that include sounds that can’t be made with human vocal cords.

 GENEVA

Well we have plenty of non-humans, so they could be coming from here, but if they are coming from somewhere else, then where is that? Are they causing this? Everything we get sounds like its coming from you.

 JACQ

...That’s interesting. And it’s localized?

 GENEVA

Yes, the area has gotten a bit bigger, but it only covers an area of a few miles.

 JACQ

Miles? You measure distance in MILES? (huffing) this is ridiculous! I tried for weeks to contact you, to ask you questions, and now it’s an emergency and we’re just going to leave it be. God. OKAY.

So I don’t know what to do. Do you have an action plan, on your side? You said you want to learn more?

 GENEVA

We don’t have to leave it? You measure things in miles as well? I wonder if you got that from us.

 JACQ

...or if you got it from us. Exactly. Did you notice… sorry, that’s an incredibly rude way to phrase it. I’m sure you noticed, that we speak the same language? Across planets? Can you… fill me in on that one?

 GENEVA

Sure, that one I know. We call it the common tongue, but really it’s the human tongue. Humans tend to be quite resistant to learning other languages.

 JACQ

Humans have more than one language! There are like 7,000 human languages!

 GENEVA

Do they? Seven thousand? That’s quite a lot.

 JACQ

Yes! It’s a lot. And... many many humans speak multiple languages. The language we’re speaking is called English. It’s… sorta just people who speak English that are resistant to learning other languages (some kind of chuckle)

 GENEVA

That’s very interesting. So many languages, but we have this one, and it’s also the one that you speak. Do you live in the country known as merry old england?

 JACQ

Hah! No, I live in a place called America. People from England spent, ehh, 4- or 500 years colonizing most of this planet, so the language is pretty common all over.

 GENEVA

The whole planet? Did they use dragons?

 JACQ

Is that possible?

 GENEVA

I don’t know. They were seeking alliances, but dragons are stubborn and independent creatures.

 JACQ

Well, I’m not a historian, and this is… a simplification. But... England...and that’s not even really the right name anymore… they used a lot of tactics over that time. Never dragons - dragons don’t exist - but they got their first foothold with a powerful Navy, and as they gained territory they had the most resources and the best technology. They also spent a lot of time just not giving a fuck about who they subjugated as long as they could keep getting more resources.

 GENEVA

That sounds awful! Not uncommon really, except that they did so well. Did they use these computers you keep talking about?

 JACQ

No, computers have existed for... (typing, Googling) eh, for less than 100 years. And have only really become this effective in the last 20. The main bit of technology that helped that Imperial age would be guns.

 GENEVA

What are guns?

 JACQ

No guns there? That’s not too surprising with magic, I guess. Do you have cannons?

 GENEVA

No.

 JACQ

Uhh… okay. So, imagine a crossbow, but...

 GENEVA

Yes we do have those, okay.

 JACQ

Okay, so imagine that, but make it more compact, easier to use. The ammunition isn’t an arrow, but a small metal bullet that goes faster than the speed of sound.

 GENEVA

Okay, I’m struggling with sound having a speed, but I think I understand. They go really fast, so it’s harder to avoid them.

 JACQ

...Uh. Yeah. I could explain the speed of sound thing, a little,  but it’s too complicated, if you get the point. It’s harder to avoid them, and they are extremely deadly. A very small bullet can kill a person instantly, or injure them fatally, and you don’t have to be skilled to use them. Skill always helps, but you could murder someone with a gun the first time you ever picked one up. You could kill yourself accidentally with a gun.

 GENEVA

Okay, so they had this technology, and no one else did, so they swept across your planet, and didn’t have any help from dragons.

 JACQ

...I wonder how effective a gun would be against a dragon.

(pause) Sorry, not the point, Uh, yeah. Basically. Other cultures caught up with that technology, and of course they made alliances with plenty of people, they didn’t just step on the whole world. And by now, they’re pretty much just in charge of the small island nation they started on. But... their language is all over. That was the original point, right?

 GENEVA

Yes that was the point, though the rest of it is quite interesting as well. I’d love to hear all about it some time.

 JACQ

...and I’d love to hear about dragons. But do you think that we should be more… organized? Do you still think I should get in touch with an authority? Or will that just make things messy?

 GENEVA

I’m not sure. It might be a little messy to involve others.

 JACQ

You’re working with a… school, or something, right?

 GENEVA

Um, no, not a school. We’re an archaeological society. We’re independent of any school.

JACQ

Well, you’re independent of a school, but you’re clearly an organized research group, it’s not just… you.

GENEVA

Yeah there are a number of us, um, I’m kind of in charge of communications with your world, though. All communications I guess, to exterior sources.

 JACQ

Okay, so, basically, it’s your project… and you would like me to help?

GENEVA

Um yes I mean obviously I’m not the only one making decisions about what we discuss or who we talk to. The group as a whole believes that talking to you alone is best based on how humans in your world have previously treated people from our world, I guess. It just seems like dealing with you right now, though no offense, you’re not really the best source of information.

JACQ

--Well I’m not! I thought that’s why you might want me to contact somebody who knows things. But… I have decent research skills, and I have some contacts that might be able to help.

GENEVA

Yeah! So we think dealing with you right now is good. We don’t have much information, so we’re sure you can provide quite a bit that we do not already know. So we’re trying that right now.

JACQ

So… we’ll just… work on it together, then...

GENEVA

Yes, I think that’s the… Wait, the portal is glowing fain-  (static)

JACQ

You’re staticking out-Geneva? Are you still--(loud but distant BOOMing noise)

(pause)

What the fuck?

__
Theme Music Plays

Thank you for listening to Interference. For more information, or to get in touch, head to orczone.com, or tweet us @theorczone.

Additional voices for this episode were provided by Megan from Tabletop Potluck, Michelle from Serendipity City, Rhi from the Magpies, and Tess from RPGcasts.com. You can find all their info in the show notes - please check them out. They all did great work on very short notice and are generally an amazing bunch of people.

Finally, as always, my thanks to Jahzzar for the use of their song “Please Listen Carefully,” available at betterwithmusic.com.